This is yet another post about nursing and trying to sleep. ::Yawn::
I just logged into my blog for the first time in a long while. I reread my last post and chuckled. Shortly after writing that post about sleeping through the night, Amelia stopped doing so (of course!). First, she added a 4 a.m. or 5 a.m. wake-up, one that was easier to respond to with nursing and returning to sleep than fighting and waking up for the day. She became more restless each night after and broke out in a sandpapery rash all over her body. After I watched it for a week, we went to the doctor, only to find out she had scarlet fever (rash + strep), even though she'd never had a noticeable fever. Ugggh.
So, since she was sick, we allowed for some nursing again at night. But then it got out of hand again, and we returned to fighting her a few times each night. So then we fell into a pattern of 1-3 wake-ups each night, with any time (before 4 a.m., when I was OK nursing her) resulting in tantrums. D. took over these late-night soothings, but she reacted the same to each of us.
We have shuffled through, just trying to sleep and not go back to too much nursing, while still being sensitive to her long-lasting illness, constant runny nose, and the freakish weather that has given us some 9-degree nights. Since the nights became so difficult (trying to hold on to a fully tantruming 18-month-old at 2 a.m. is NO FUN), I instead dropped the pre-nap nurse last week, which was also NO FUN. She missed a few days of naps and made it clear she did not like the change, and I suffered because of it.
So while I thought we'd be done nursing by now (twice we have been down to once/day, setting a day to quit altogether), we are back to a just-trying-to-get-by pattern. She's been nursing at 2:30 a.m. and around 4:30-5:30 a.m. Her rash and runny nose returned, so I'm going to try to ride those out before we drop all of this.
I'm ready to be done, but I'm not ready to fight her tantrums. I'm ready to sleep, but not ready to be awakened without the quick-fix available. I'd be at my wit's end if I hadn't found a few other mothers of older babies who are in the same situation as I am. My first kid gave up nursing easily. This one is a fighter -- an opinionated, Mama-loving, poorly sleeping fighter. Wish me luck.