I finished. I passed my test. I actually got honors, something I was not striving for but felt nice to hear.
I thought I would want to party, to drink, to rejoice. Instead, I have retreated into the second Hunger Games book (I had held off until after cram-reading for the test) and quiet playtime with my daughter. I am tired and a bit shaken, I think. I want quiet time with nothing demanded of me.
But alas, quiet time is rarely possible. We signed up Sylvia for preschool at the last minute, so that has been a whirlwind of forms and supply shopping. Somewhere in the middle of Walmart buying Elmer's glue, I realized that my baby was starting school, going into the hands of another caregiver, off to learn things I can't take credit for teaching her and make friends I don't know. The only thing preventing my full freak-out is the realization that these three mornings a week will provide me with some of that quiet time I've been craving.
Also, I'm not really done yet. I have to write and defend a thesis. But that's for thinking about next week. Now is the time for YA novels, silly games with my baby and a moment of calm. I want to soak in this fleeting moment.