Maybe I'm just bitter. Maybe I just want to belong. But...
Since I started blogging last month, I decided to start reading more blogs. I followed links my friends suggested and ended up on a lot of so-called Mommy Blogs. Many of them are fantastic and offer an amusing take on the struggles we are all going through. But you know, they also are all starting to sound alike. Each blogger brags about her "snark" - often making the same jokes about how having kids ruins your life, how parenting is easier with alcohol, how husbands just don't get it, and how they watch bad reality TV just to make fun of it. I know that these are all well educated women who have great senses of humor and sure know how to tell a great story. I respect them for blogging and for keeping things entertaining day after day. But at some point, I realized I was done.
This happened to me in college as well. When I first arrived, I hung out only with the theatre kids. Their sarcasm, devil-may-care attitude was refreshing. I eagerly wanted to understand all the inside jokes, to make the same scathing commentaries about the world. But after a few years, it got old. It's exhausting to be judgy all the time. It wears me down to be cynical.
Thankfully, my then-boyfriend-now-husband was going through the same crisis. He too was longing for something more authentic, something less angry, something with a little more joy. We found each other, and we shifted our group of friends. While I still love many of my friends from the theatre crowd, the ones I still keep up with were the ones that laughed a lot (not always at the expense of others), were silly, and welcomed me with open arms. I didn't have to pretend to be cool (ha! a stretch) or drop all the right names; they welcomed me anyway. Thanks guys.
Now, do I drink wine after a long day with a toddler? Yes, yes I do. Do I watch bad reality TV just to judge it? Check. And am I keeping a blog so I can yell about all this stuff to the world? Um, yes. But somehow...I want to step away from that too. I want to stay joyful. I don't want to join the cool kids club.
So yeah. Sorry about that, all you snarky moms out there. I will visit your world, I will laugh with you...but then I will go back to my studies, to my toddler, to my husband, and I will work hard to appreciate all the good stuff I've got. Because I sure like seeing the world better with rose-colored glasses than with the harsh glare of cynicism. Now pardon me while I celebrate all this happiness with a cocktail or three.